Tomorrow, 29th April 2017, I have my first track competition in 3 years!
Not far from where I’ll be competing, the Penn Relays will be taking place so there isn’t any chance of lining up next to world class competition. Indeed, it has only been several weeks since coming back to track and field with any intention of competing consistently. What matters, though, is that I can feel that old spark inside that couldn’t care less about who I line up next to. I’m in this space that I find familiar, where nothing and nobody matter. I’m currently living in that timeless moment between “On your marks” and the sound of a starter’s pistol. It’s a place I love and a place I’ve missed.
I’m not sure what to expect tomorrow. The 100m and 200m aren’t my regular distance and, for the first time in a long time, the 200m will be a tactical race, as opposed to a get out and go sprint. But I’ve prepared for this as best I can. Sleeping right (although I’ll struggle tonight, I’m sure!), eating right, hydrating. Tomorrow may not be Darren of 2005 but it will be the same spirit. Of that, I’m certain.
It’s amazing that, with age comes wisdom and a different approach to things. When I was 25, I’d be thinking of the day and the occasion. Now, at the age of 36, I’m thinking of correct departure from the blocks. The extension of my hips. I’m thinking of about holding my form. I’m thinking of maintaining hip height so I can ‘catapult’ out of the turn in the 200m.
I’ve not bragged, boasted or shared with everyone the work and commitment that has brought me here. Maybe it’ll be spoken of over time. But I’m loving this familiar zone. Right now, I feel like the prodigal son and I’m thankful for this moment.
News story can be read here: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/peckham-rye-stabbing-man-knifed-to-death-in-south-east-london-a3526836.html
This is sad and mindless. I miss home, having emigrated in 2012, but I read stories like this, along with others, since leaving, and sometimes feel ashamed. This madness has to stop and it has to be stopped at the root of the problem.
Because London is such a complex boiling pot of so many demographics, only cohesion will bring about change. Various demographics looking out for themselves isn’t working and, historically, never has. London needs to come together and raise its children as a village. There are so many people in London with so many qualities to offer the younger generations but everyone is so busy moving on to the next thing and so busy making that next pound to pay the next bill that there are whole demographics slipping through the social cracks that are appearing. Disappearing with, clearly, very serious consequences.
Wake up, London!
It’s rare for someone to enter your life and impact you, positively, from the outset, just because they are that way inclined. If you find such a person entering in, align yourself to cater for them. Make them feel as special as they make you feel. Especially if you know that you aren’t that special at all.
When Love and Leadership are made synonymous, a team is formed and positions are kept, based on mutual respect and individual strengths as opposed to fear.
A leader who doesn’t lead with Love will have no support and will die alone.
I grind through my Monday to Friday, 8-5, in the liberty allotted to me by someone who doesn’t know me or necessarily care about my welfare, provided figures look right in bank accounts. I live in a society that tells me I am free, provided I live within the confines of the liberty allotted to me, based on my gender, colour, age, religion and financial stability. These institutions would have me believe that love is love and that I am loved. But that just isn’t the truth. In that Love, by standard, is a submission to the will and welfare of another, my employment and the system I contribute to tolerate my presence. I, as a person, mean very little.
When I’m around nature, though, I enter into a ‘cleansing’. Physically, I can breathe easier, I’m relaxed and smile without reason. My mind is free from worry and stress, as I take in the purity of what is around me. As brutal as nature can potentially be, its peace and display of Love draw me in to nature’s own set parameters of freedom. In that nature wouldn’t necessarily react to my destructive human nature, I am at liberty to be totally free.
If only employers and social systems could realize the lessons taught to us by the nature that surrounds us, in silence, portraying lessons since the beginning of time, as we stay too busy making money to pause and see the better way forwards. Love and relationships should always be paramount; just as nature intended.
Imagine a magic button that could ‘fix’ everything! Every I.T. Help Desk Technician wishes they had one and sometimes we wish we had one for our lives. But there is something about the learning process and subsequent sense of achievement that comes from not having one. As much as I bury my head in my hands, Monday through Friday and as much as I throw my headset across my desk, I’m glad I don’t have that magic button! The same in life. I’m glad to have learned from my mistakes and have had to put in work to deal with the consequences of my actions. Indeed, working through the negative consequences of my actions has led me to some great things in life. No magic button needed – necessarily… per se… kinda sorta… I mean, the idea could be nice… *sighs* You get what I mean!
Regardless of how strong-willed you may be, support is a necessary thing. Keep your support of the same mindset and hold on to tried and tested friendships because you never know when you’ll need them.