I had a conversation with a friend the other day, regarding something I’d mentioned in an earlier blog of mine. It was an issue for him and I was able to talk with him about how to tackle his issue. It was good dialogue and great to talk to him outside of a social media forum. We were able to share ideas, share experiences and even disagree in gentlemanly manner. There wasn’t a real ‘outcome’ of our conversation but, by the time we came off the phone, we were both smiling and it was great to know that I hadn’t been in a boat all by myself.
Earlier in the conversation, he’d asked why I comfortably put myself on blast. In fact, he isn’t the first person to ask the question and the title of this blog is the answer. You are not alone.
Not being alone isn’t the ONLY reason but it is definitely the KEY reason. Regardless of what you are going through, Good or bad, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Over time recent, I’ve been learning a lot about Love and relationships and it’s given me such a shift in perspective when I see how the world works.
This ‘developed’ world we live in is designed to make us feel like our own little island and it shames us for being human. It shames us for not being financially comfortable and it shames us for being overweight. It shames us when we try to fight through addictions and always finds a way to keep us attached to the ‘shames’ we work through.
While shaming us, it promotes using the easy way out and then provides the easy way out of our ‘shames’ by thrusting social media into our faces. Both of us may be struggling financially but we’ll only ever post those pictures of us smiling with our Joker Face, living in the house we can barely afford, driving the car that we can barely afford. We lie to each other because of the shame we feel, when the truth is, just ONE open and frank conversation about the truth could set us free. You know, there are times when I put myself ‘on blast’ and actually feel better for it after. Why? Because ‘on blast’ isn’t a broadcasting of failure. It’s an honest statement of position. A position I’ll, with 100% certainty, share with someone else. This raises a question. How genuine are our relationships? Are you embracing your relationships or clasping them? I often look at how our society interacts and all I see is a sombre masquerade ball. We move so well, and in time with the music but that mask… Tears, hurt and social slavery.
If you want to get a little deeper, we could say that hiding our flaws and keeping silent about them, as we project our Joker Face through the windows of social media, is killing those we profess to love and those we profess to be friends. As the toxicity of our ‘failures’ and ‘shortcomings’ mounts up, clogged inside by the choke-hold of mass and social media, and by our own pride, we end up killing ourselves. Emotionally, psychologically and, for some, physically. There are so many of us that, behind closed doors, are hurting. So many of us crying into pillows at night, shedding tears over mounting bills and debt, struggling as single parents with growing children, unhappy in our jobs. Some are in that dark space we call suicidal. There are those among us, beating themselves up inside as they inject escapism into their veins or read the label on jars of sleeping pills, asking themselves “Why can’t I stop doing this”? My friend, you are not alone.
It’s sad that the systems we live within, claim to be for the people while making us feel lonely and then ashamed for not being socially good enough. A system that will break you financially, emotionally and physically and then blame you for not surviving the social onslaught of life. “You didn’t return from the suicide mission and it’s your fault…!”
The way forwards is to cultivate our personal relationships. Take a few minutes to develop or create a friendship, before telling someone they need to ‘unfriend’ you, based on their political standpoint. You could be the very person an individual needs. A person that will be there long after one or two terms of a Presidency expire. Within the same remit, how about having political debate face to face. See how easy it is to state your opinion, over a cup of coffee, across the table from the person you’re talking to, and then tell them to unfriend you while walking off. Awkward to picture and uncomfortable to imagine yourself there, isn’t it. If social media has you comfortable enough to cut everyone off, because they disagree with you, you may wish to question how in touch with reality you really are. But, even in this flaw, YOU are not alone.
I’m a listening ear for anyone that needs it. Whether it be for advice, to just listen or even to discuss the many flaws we share. We can even find solution for disagreeing points of view. Also, there needn’t even be only room for “Help me!” support. Success and happiness shared can have just as powerful an effect as help and support for those less fortunate.
We are surrounded by 7 billion stories of success and flaws. 7 billion different life experiences. Thousands of years of documented history. There can be no shame in being human. You are not alone.