I have a gift. It took years for me to believe that I had it and a few minutes of spoken words to understand how it fits into my life. In a split moment, I almost lost it.
I sat with a good friend, discussing my gift and he pointed out to me that gifts are allotted to those in a position to keep and use it. He explained that a humble spirit is the key to being entrusted with gifts. This is because gifts are your purpose. I learned, very quickly, that your purpose isn’t for everyone and it isn’t for everyone to be around you as your gift is developed and your purpose attended to. Some will leave. Some, almost as a decision of “Do you want it or not”, have to be removed.
In removing myself from those that are not fit for my purpose, those that needed to be let in and those who I didn’t realize were waiting in the wings, began to come into view. It was here that the excitement of revelation caught me and, out of Love, I shared too much with the wrong people.
I’m one to not care about titles, praise and accolade. That’s not to say they are not well received, and there was a time when they meant a lot to me but experience has shown me that life is happiest when you just do you and, by that, I mean just going about your business, developing your own talents so that, when they are called upon, you can deliver your investment with interest. This was what humility meant to me. The fact is, though, that isn’t entirely correct. You see, to be humble is a verb. It isn’t abstract. It isn’t just a thing. It’s something that is done and it was this realization that brought about harsh lessons and a tough ending to 2016.
Being humble, while nurturing a gift, at times requires you to shut your mouth and keep it to yourself. Matthew 7:6 reads, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
The word ‘holy’, of itself, has nothing to do with your spiritual elevation. It has a Greek root ‘Hagios’, meaning ‘set apart’ or ‘separate’. Our gifts and desires are exactly that. Set apart from everyone else. Very few will understand them and nobody can cherish them like the person they belong to so it is important that we keep them that way. Encouragement is always a good thing, inspiration is great but loosely sharing what is nearest and dearest to you can only be detrimental to you in the long run.
Use wisdom. Is your new year diet rooted deeper than “I want to eat healthy”? Is your plan to go to the gym deeper than “I really let it go over the holidays”? Is “I’m doing me!” based on emotional pain from the past 365 days, as opposed to you feeling a little distracted? If your drive goes deeper than the obvious then maybe social media isn’t the place to express it. Maybe a social sharing, over dinner and drinks, isn’t the time. Maybe it’s time to keep the excitement, the focus, the passion inside. Be your own motivator and critic. Don’t base your success on the nod from those looking on and don’t base failure on the disappointment of those watching you under your own spotlight. Actions will always speak louder than words. 365 days from now, when you are sharing your “Started from the bottom, now we’re here” journey, your own sense of achievement, and development in self-belief, will be what drive you forwards and that’s a good thing.
The moment I shared my gift with the wrong person, it was in a moment of love. I wanted to help, and it’s crazy that I could feel it was a moment I shouldn’t share it but I went ahead anyway. Helping and caring are two things that run deep in me and I can’t seem to shake them. To an extent, that’s good. However, gifts and desires have their own set standards and, when they are in play, intention doesn’t supersede cause and effect. In a split moment, I felt something amiss. Something was gone and I knew, immediately, that I had just messed up. I felt like I was holding dirt in my hands. Substance with no value, and that’s what happens every time we throw our gifts and desires out there for all and sundry. Their value, even to ourselves, is diminished and they cease to be a standard we wish to attain to, as they are held to the scrutiny of the standards of others.
It has taken months for me to realize I still have my gift and I can’t begin to describe the despair and self-disappointment I felt when I thought I had thrown it away. I’m also dead certain this lesson will come around again. It’s how we grow. But don’t let your growing pains be more than they need to be. Keep your gifts and desires, your resolutions, holy!