Having Gay Friends As A Christian And The Ignorance I See On Both Sides

Having spent many years floating in and out of the Church, I’ve definitely lived an interesting life. I’ve had a vast amount of experiences, of all types. Good, bad, funny, side-eye moments and I have made a massive amount of friends! From moving in military circles, track and field circles, obstacle course racing circles and during the process of leaving my country to live and travel in another. The range of friends I have is colourful to say the least. Lots of different people from different backgrounds, living different lives according to different standards.

I remember, after a heated discussion in one English class, during my college years, my teacher took me to one side and shared some things with me. She explained that, a lack of understanding of someone you disagree with prevents any point, or content, being received by the person you are addressing. At that point, I become merely opposition and the breakdown in communication, in the college environment I was in, could lead to violence.
I remember, later that evening, pondering on what she said. The change wasn’t instantaneous but, over the years, I became more accepting and more understanding of others. At the point where one of my closest friends told me he was gay, I discovered I had no choice.

Before continuing, because many won’t read to the end of this blog, I want to make my standpoint on Homosexuality clear.

The long and short is I don’t condone it. As a Christian, it is a sin and goes against the standard I have set my life to. I’m sure that there are many who will, at this point, remember every time that I have contravened the standard I profess to live to and may even wish to vocalize those times. That’s cool with me. I’ll never profess to be perfect and I’ll never profess to live in accordance with my standard 100% of the time. That would just be a lie. The standard, however, still stands. I don’t dictate it, I never created it and I’m in no position to change it.
Scientifically, I don’t see how Homosexuality is conducive to life (Life being a noun here.). Technology to one side, two of the same sex cannot reproduce and all living things have the ability to reproduce, as one of the key functions that all living things possess. I can’t remember what we were taught in school but there are several other common denominators that we see in living organisms.
We also see in nature that living things have living and reproduction as a goal. Whether it be trees fighting for sunlight in a forest or small creatures preparing their homes for the winter. We have the adrenaline system in humans to also consider. That ‘should I stay alive by fighting or running’ mechanism.
I’m aware of species that are asexual but these instances are a reaction to environmental influences and they are also physical (natural) changes. Could it be that homosexuality is a beginning such changes taking place in humans? I doubt it very much.
My faith will never waiver, unless I see Jehovah contradict Himself. I also never shy from scientific discussion. Whether social science, philosophies, physics, chemistry, biology or any other form of scientific study. To that end, I’ll always venture into discussion, to hear what others have to say and to explain my own opinions.

So, why the blog?
It’s pretty simple. It’s sad to see the ignorance displayed by both sides, simply based on a lack of understanding. A lack of knowledge and thriving of existence by stereotype in the eyes of, what has become, merely the opposition. I believe time taken to shut up and assess what is actually being said by the other side could, in the very least, bring about some cordial co-existence and a removal of the often childish carry-on we see today.
I want to make it clear that my blog isn’t entering into the right/wrong debate. I’d like my blog to bring about some understanding so that the right/wrong debate can continue in Love and not pride and ignorance.

I believe that before acceptance, in its various forms, can take place, there has to be an understanding that both sides of this age-long argument speak from standards that aren’t their own. A homosexual person will tell you that they are who they are supposed to be. They didn’t dictate their persona, their character or their way of life. It was already there. There is no talk of spirits or spirituality and this is where there is often a total breakdown of communication, before dialogue has even been entered into.
There are those who are gay by choice. I know several. For the most part, though, a gay person is gay by design. Most importantly, a gay person is exactly that – a person!
I find there is a rush to address spiritual cause and effect when we, as Christians, deal with other people, which gives off the air of almost speaking to a person as though they aren’t in the same space. If being gay is a sin and, therefore, something that can be left alone, the sin and the sinner are not one and the same. There has to be a mental separation of entities in order to avoid ignorance.
Before flipping the coin, I just want to remind Christians, myself included, that we are instructed to preach the Gospel to everyone, with the intention of them being saved and coming to repentance. We find this in Mark 16:15-16 and 2 Peter 3:9. It’s important that we remember, how we deliver a message will have massive bearing on how it is received.

In that it’s important for a Christian person to understand they are dealing with a person, the same has to be said of gay people as well. Christians speak from a standard that isn’t created by them and the standard states that being gay is wrong and for that wrong there is consequence. It is the urgency of the consequence that causes Christians to speak out against Homosexuality, not the dislike of a person. Therefore, Facebook memes speaking of Christian surgeons allowing gay patients to die on a surgery table are ridiculous, in the very least, and a total misrepresentation.
As a Christian, the view of sin (I’m using this term generically, as the Bible speaks to us of sin, transgression and iniquity, or abomination) is the equivalent of seeing a child run across a road, where the consequence is being hit by a car. It doesn’t matter how fast you run or how good you look while you do it. The reason for running across the road doesn’t play any part either. The simple fact is, you could be hit by a car.
I’m pretty sure that an expected response to this would be, “Well, I should be allowed to live my life the way that I want to live my life.” This is true and choosing Christ is exactly that, a choice. However, based on the two scriptures I presented earlier, there is a necessity and a requirement of Christians to spread the Gospel to everybody. My point here is that of, discuss the message and don’t shoot the messenger, remaining ignorant of the message. It was Paulo Freire who once said, “Only through communication can human life hold meaning.” To live in ignorance is to live a life without meaning.

As a race, humans don’t have to agree but we do have to Love. Love being a standard in life and not a warm, fuzzy feeling, met with dewy eyes because everyone says that we are right. If this were the case, spanking your child for attempting to touch the proverbial hot iron wouldn’t be an act of love but an act of spite.

I think, in many walks of life, there has developed a lifestyle of finger-pointing. There is very little soul-searching and looking in the mirror. I believe that this has hardened the shell of “You can’t tell me that I’m wrong.” We see it everywhere. At the end of the day, it’s the very reason we drop bombs on the countries of others. Because we are too scared to sharpen our opinions across the blade that may say we are wrong. Pride and ignorance.
Pride and ignorance have been promoted as the way forwards in life and yet, very few take the time to see how this way of life has us all living on our own little islands, separated even further by the sea of social media that splashes across our own little shores, creating our own little portholes of two-way mirrors. Everyone has to check themselves, excepting the person that needs the mirror most.

It’s high time that the tables of negotiation were dusted off and the broadswords removed, as we listen to the voice of reason from a standard other than our own, displaying Love for the messenger, regardless of the bitter taste of the message. The ignorance has become tiresome.


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