Sadly, I’m wired to not let people in, if I’m honest. I learned, recently, that this is a Robinson family trait. Coupled with my recent life’s experiences, getting in is borderline impossible. Letting in is difficult, at best. As a result, it takes a long time to get to know and understand me and I’m often seen as pretty heartless. I guess it would seem weird to have someone who can give from a loving heart but appear to have no heart at all when looking in. I can’t blame anyone for the misconception but that isn’t to say that I’m unaffected by the misconception. It hurts when someone considers you to be soulless, when you know full well you’re anything but. We’re all dealt the cards life gives us, though, I suppose. For me, a lot of the cards I’ve been dealt to play have been dealt by my own decisions but that’s another conversation…
So, following this 30 Days of Writing, I find myself presented with telling the world how to win the heart I don’t give away too easy. Let’s see how this goes…
- Spiritual compatibility. I am notorious for skipping past this foundation of any relationship I have. I’ve been easily distracted by aesthetics and personality traits in the past but I’m making sure I stick this one out. I’d be lying if I said it was easy. Doing what is convenient for now often cuts against the grain of my purpose and I find, when living according to my purpose, as opposed to the comfort of now, life is actually very smooth. It just makes me socially awkward at times!
I’m a Christian and that is my purpose (Not just being a Christian but my purpose requires me to be one. I know my purpose is to teach the Word. I’m just not sure of the capacity in which I’ll teach.). I may fight with this at times but it’s a fight that is much better for me to fight alone, without adding anyone else to the mix. Especially if they don’t agree with what my purpose is.
- Have a purpose of your own. It’s hard for me to relate to a woman who is living ‘one day at a time’. I’ve found that my purpose and life become a crutch, where the focus is always on me and what I have going on but I don’t like that. I actually fall, sometimes too easily, for a potential partner who can map out their plans to me. And it doesn’t have to be plans that are equivalent to taking over the world. Going to school, having a career, being dedicated to something that requires commitment and sets an external standard are all things attractive to me. It’s good to shut up for a while (I can talk, man. Seriously, I can just talk!) and listen to something I don’t know about.
- Be confident in how you look! I think this is why I tend to lean towards females who are dedicated to health and fitness. Not because of how they look but because how they look isn’t the key focus.
Nobody is perfect and modesty is OK but I will usually take issue with an obsession of aesthetics. This includes cosmetic surgery and fake ‘parts’ being added to the body. I’m a big believer in being happy with what you have and working with it. It gives off an air of pride in one’s self. I’m not saying that it’s a deal-breaker to have a weave or press-on nails. They are just things I feel a woman doesn’t need.
- NO SMOKING! This is an instant deal-breaker for me. No exceptions! This also includes the need to ‘vape’. I just can’t get with it.
I’d go so far as to say that I avoid addictions pretty aggressively. Maybe it’s life experience or maybe it’s an assumption but I consider ‘addicts’ of any kind to be unstable people and I LOVE stability!
- Humour! Smiles are contagious, as is laughter, and I LOVE both! Practical jokes are also welcome. Although, be warned. I give as good as I get!
Smiles and smiling eyes are perfect respite for long days and great starts to the same. Mrs. HAS to have a good smile and I HAVE to be with someone I can exchange laughter with.
Man, this 30 Days of Writing thing sure has me opening up! Little by little, I’m sure I’ll get there!